For the past couple of months, I have been anticipating the idea/word/vision/scripture for this year of 2012. I didn't receive one. It has been something I have relied on so heavily that I started wondering what I was doing wrong that I hadn't heard from God. Then, I decided God was changing things up and I just wasn't going to receive that message this year. Okay, no problem. But, now I've longed for it, and have seeked it. Where are you?
A lady at church asked a bunch of us if we wanted to have a 3 day fast the first 3 days of the month and I agreed. We could fast from whatever we wanted or however we wanted. It seemed like my mind has been so cloudy and distracted lately that when the first day came, I forgot. My first instinct was to beat myself up about it. I could picture satan getting a good laugh out of this. How could I forget about this? Then, immediately I felt a peace and like a whisper from God saying "Grace." Okay, I need to give myself grace, so I did. I remembered and started the next day. Well, talk about cranky the next 3 days. No, it was not from a lack of food because I was still eating. Not a great way to start off the new year. Satan was not going to let me off the hook this easy. Then, it seemed like a lot of the ladies from this group were dealing with so many emotions and being attacked, also. One lady said satan was lashing out, and another lady commented with "I'd be disturbed too if I had a bunch of ladies praying against me! Praise the Lord!" We must all be doing something right, I thought!
Then on Wednesday the kids noticed I wasn't eating breakfast. I explained to them that I usually don't on the first Wednesday of the month because that is the night the adults meet together in big people church instead of our individual studies and they ask if we can fast a meal that day to prepare for this special night. I've really never had a problem doing this, but now it seems like I am. Again, I'm thinking this is not a great way to start off the new year.
All through this fasting, I was feeling overwhelmed. I was trying to get the kids back into a school routine, I was trying to talk to God more, I was trying to not be cranky, and I was trying to begin some new routines to create more efficiency and routine to my every day. It seemed like I was not doing a very good job in any area. Again, I was thinking not a great way to start off the new year, but, I was still hearing that word Grace impressed on me. So, I stopped being so hard on myself.
Wednesday night at church was a fantastic time of worship and prayer. We all wrote down something personal we wanted God to work on in our lives, and then we wrote down something we wanted Him to work on for our church. Nobody knew what everyone else wrote down, but we gathered around the cards and collectively prayed. Someone had a message in tongues and the interpretation was this: "If you really want what you are praying for, there is a price. Are you willing to pay that price? You must read My word, pray, fast, and seek Me." That was it! That is what seemed to put all of the pieces together for me personally. I was already fasting. I was vowing and trying really hard to read/discuss more of the Word, especially with my kids, nothing had really changed in my praying--I am always in constant communication with God, but the desire of my heart so far this new week of this new year was to seek God more and draw closer to Him. That is what I had been longing for these past couple of months. All of my wondering where that idea/word/vision/scripture for my new year was and why I hadn't received it yet was becoming more clear to me. God wanted me to work for it not just sit idly by and wait for it!
Does this surprise you? Are you thinking that God just naturally gives things to us and all we have to do is receive it? Has it never occured to you that sometimes we have to do things to receive blessings? Have you heard that faith and works must go hand in hand? Here is the scripture from The Message:
James 2:14-26 Faith in Action
14-17Dear friends, do you think you'll get anywhere in this if you learn all the right words but never do anything? Does merely talking about faith indicate that a person really has it? For instance, you come upon an old friend dressed in rags and half-starved and say, "Good morning, friend! Be clothed in Christ! Be filled with the Holy Spirit!" and walk off without providing so much as a coat or a cup of soup—where does that get you? Isn't it obvious that God-talk without God-acts is outrageous nonsense? 18I can already hear one of you agreeing by saying, "Sounds good. You take care of the faith department, I'll handle the works department."Not so fast. You can no more show me your works apart from your faith than I can show you my faith apart from my works. Faith and works, works and faith, fit together hand in glove.
19-20Do I hear you professing to believe in the one and only God, but then observe you complacently sitting back as if you had done something wonderful? That's just great. Demons do that, but what good does it do them? Use your heads! Do you suppose for a minute that you can cut faith and works in two and not end up with a corpse on your hands?
21-24Wasn't our ancestor Abraham "made right with God by works" when he placed his son Isaac on the sacrificial altar? Isn't it obvious that faith and works are yoked partners, that faith expresses itself in works? That the works are "works of faith"? The full meaning of "believe" in the Scripture sentence, "Abraham believed God and was set right with God," includes his action. It's that mesh of believing and acting that got Abraham named "God's friend." Is it not evident that a person is made right with God not by a barren faith but by faith fruitful in works?
25-26The same with Rahab, the Jericho harlot. Wasn't her action in hiding God's spies and helping them escape—that seamless unity of believing and doing—what counted with God? The very moment you separate body and spirit, you end up with a corpse. Separate faith and works and you get the same thing: a corpse.
There may be times in your life when God will simply bless you, but there are times when you have to work for it, and I don't see anything wrong with that. Well, for me, Wednesday night was the accumulation of everything I needed to hear. First, Grace: this will be a year that I need to exhibit more grace to myself, but others as well. Not that I don't do this, but I feel I need to do more of it, and I already know a few situations in which I need to act on this now. Once I do, I already know that I will experience more freedom just from acting on this. Second, I have to be willing to pay the price of receiving God's blessings this year--I have to work for it. I've already started the work for it. Just from this week of fasting, my idea/word/vision/scripture I usually receive from God has appeared and been made known. It's all becoming more clear. And, although this was not revealed for me Wednesday night, I know that this will be a year where I will do even more things with my children so that they can see God more through me, and can also be drawn closer to Him.
How about you? Do you feel like things aren't clear for you right now? If so, are you willing to work to hear from God? Will you fast from computer or tv time if you can't from food? If you can't read more of scripture, will you watch more people on tv who teach you about God and the Bible? Or, will you listen to a Christian radio station? The kids and I love KLOVE and you'll be surprised how many songs are written around scripture. You'll find yourself singing these songs, and then someday you'll be reading a passage in the Bible and go, "Wait a minute! That's in that song from the radio!" I love it when my kids discover this fact! Will you pray more? Prayer is constant communication with God. You don't always have to be down on your knees with your hands clasped together and head bowed. You can be talking with him in the car, or the shower. Here's a tip about praying: BE SPECIFIC! That's part of working toward a blessing, also. If you don't ask specifically for what you want and you just say a generic "Bless me Father," it doesn't always get you what you want. Do you need $1000--ask specifically for it! Maybe you'll miraculously receive it through a friend or family member, or maybe God will open up a job opportunity for you. Do you need healing in a specific body part--pray for that specifically, not just a general healing. Do you need your husband to be more loving to you by giving you time to just listen to you vent, or your wife to be more respectful by letting you make more decisions for your family--pray for that specifically, not just a general help our marriage. But, here is a warning: God will give you this blessing in His own time and only if it aligns with his will and plans for you. But, don't let that discourage you from praying. I literally prayed for something for years and although there were times I so wanted to give up praying thinking God wouldn't answer me, I also felt the urge to continue praying, so I did, and my prayer was eventually answered.
Yep, I'm glad to know that I have to work for blessings this year. I can see how this will draw me closer to God. I am also glad to know that there are others in my church family that received this same revelation and that we will be working together to draw closer to God. This is going to be a GREAT 2012!
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