40 Is Approaching

I wasn't sure if I should write a blog post about this because I didn't know the reactions I would get, but then decided why not? I'm still a little tentative to start the post, but here goes.........I am going to be turning 40 years old pretty soon! To some people that may seem like just another ordinary birthday, or it may be something to really celebrate for reaching this milestone in life, or it may be kind of sad. I find myself in the middle of looking at it as an exciting milestone, and feeling depressed. Yikes, what a combination!

I haven't been crying about this birthday--I did that two years ago when I turned 38. A friend a few months back asked me why 38 upset me, and I wasn't sure at the time. Now I know why. It's because that was the age I noticed my hands looking older, more wrinkles under my eyes, and more gray hair, (and that's when the coloring of the hair started). Aaaaahhhhhh!!!!

I'm not sure what to think about 40. I keep having mixed emotions. I can't believe how quickly it came. You know when you're a kid time can't move fast enough, and then as soon as you're an adult, time moves all too quickly--it's all absolutely true! Where in the world did the time go?

There are times when I'm sad because I think of the future and it feels like if time has already gone this quickly, 40 more years will fly by and then I'll be 80 before I know it. There is so much in life I want to do and at times there feels like there's not enough time in life to do it all. Well, that's true, but it's also a very dangerous place to be when you start thinking this way. The Bible tells us that we need to focus on today because tomorrow will have it's own challenges. Besides, a lot of those things I don't get to do here while I'm on this earth, I will one day get to do when Heaven comes down to earth. Then there are the saged words from the turtle from one of my favorite kids movies Kung Fu Panda when he says something like, "Yesterday was history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That's why they call it the present." Something like that. It just reminds me that I need to be grateful for today.

Then there are times when I'm proud of 40. I think I still look pretty good--aging hands, wrinkled eyes, and graying hair [well, underneath that dyed brown color]. I'm still very active and love to play outside with my kids, take walks, and I can lift weights and do other exercises and not injure myself. Plus, it's also true what they say about growing older and getting wiser. I love that part of growing older. I am now looking at teens and college-aged "kids" and wishing I could bestow on them all of the things I have learned during my 40 years of life so far, but I also remember that at their age you thought you were invincible and were going to do things your way, so I know that they have to learn by living their own lives.

Today I may feel okay, tomorrow I may feel depressed about this age thing. Who knows? But I do know that writing about this has helped me feel better. I know there are probably younger and older ladies alike who will just roll their eyes at this post. If you are a person who made it through turning 40 with a big, ole, huge smile on your face--congratulations! I'm trying. But, at the same time, there is a part of me thinking of those 20s and 30s I've passed through and kind of missing them. But, that's okay. I know there's still a lot of life to live, and that's what I plan on doing--LIVING and trying to enjoy each day.