Not Wrong, Just Different

"Not wrong, just different" is a phrase from the Love and Respect Ministry. It refers to how men and women see things differently, and how both parties need to understand this and approach things in a way that will help the other understand how and why they do things. It can get quite complicated sometimes because men need respect, women need love, and when these are exhibited correctly, we are on what's called the Energizing Cycle. When these things go wrong, we are on the Crazy Cycle. If you're married, you completely understand this whether or not you've done the Love and Respect study.

Have you ever noticed how "not wrong, just different" could be used in other aspects of life? How about child rearing, the way people dress, how coworkers do their jobs, the different styles teachers have. People are different and have different temperaments and personality styles. Sometimes they rub us wrong because we may be completely opposite of them, but that doesn't make them wrong. Remember God made them and loves them just as much as He made us and loves us. It doesn't mean we have to be friends with them, but as long as they are a born again Christian, then they do have a purpose for God in this world.

But....what happens when a person is wrong. Yes, people can be just plain wrong at times. And how do we discern this? With God's word. We all might agree that if someone murders out of a cold, evil heart that is wrong. What if someone tells a lie? What about telling your kids there is a Santa Claus or Tooth Fairy? To many people, that may be a gray area. Bur, according to God's word, are there really any gray areas? I don't thing there are. Do I enter those gray areas sometimes (Santa, Tooth Fairy, etc.), yes, I do. I'm not going to deal with that right now. I think it'd eat me up at the moment. I guess that makes me a person who is completely in the wrong with those kinds of things.

I don't mean to leave this post in a negative tone, but I have more to write about this and I need to gather my thoughts first. Just think about the "not wrong, just different" phrase today as you go through your everyday life and how it can apply to others you come in contact with, and the things they do. If what they are doing is not dangerous or evil or sin, then it's okay--it just may be different then how you would handle it. What will you tell yourself when this happens? How can you adjust your thoughts? If you don't know, then ask God to help you. If it really bothers you, then walk away if you can, or turn your head. I'm thinking about at my local homeschool convention when I witnessed a head capped, long dress, no makeup wearing person of a certain religious denomination saw a young youth who was dressed in a chain link shirt, shorts, and plaid sunglasses, and I'm pretty sure there might have been some ears pierced (but I'm not positive). My kids were going, "Look at his cool sunglasses, mom!" While the other woman was staring at this young man with disbelief at how he looked and responded with an, "OH MY." Now, that doesn't mean the lady was thinking terrible thoughts about the young man in any way. But, you knew from her reaction that this youth was dressed in a way that this woman thought was REALLY different. For all I know, the youngster could have been thinking the same thing about the way this lady dressed. Okay, I'll admit my first thought when I saw the young man was, "What in the world?" But, then I just did a mental mind shrug and ignored him. It wouldn't have done the young man or myself or God any good by starting to let my imagination run away with me and thinking of what kind of weird things this young person might do because I would simply be judging him based on how he was dressed that day. That would be horrible because he may be a fabulous child of God who does a lot of wonderful things for God. I hope he is!